It's been a couple weeks so I guess it is about time for another update.

Firstly I'm very proud. I ended up going out last night to a club called Popstarz which is a gay, alternative(ish) music club down by King's Cross in the Scala building. I went with a few guys I had met at a gay youth group that day and - though I really wasn't up for going out - had a great time.

But back to me being proud. One of the people I went to the club with was a young man who had only recently came to any gay group whatsoever, but with a lovely personality and a relaxed attitude. He'd never been to a gay club before and, when we had been safely inside for a while, he admitted that he was feeling very nervous.

I remember starting out, exploring my sexuality and meeting new people. It can, at times, be an incredibly daunting prospect and can cripple you with fear. On the plus side, however, it is exciting, opens your eyes, helps you to learn about the world around you and gives you more confidence to express who you are as a human being. The gay scene, with all it's problems, gives you the opportunity for validation regardless of your sexuality.

Anyway, we had a good night, dancing around, exploring all the rooms, getting slightly drunk and generally having a nice time. My young friend, despite being quite nervous, ended up showing his moves, relaxing and feeling the music and atmosphere around him. (Luckily Popstarz is a gay club with very relaxed attitude, unlike some others on the London scene, with young men who seem more interested in their image than anything else in their lives.)

By the end of the evening, my young friend had even gotten some attention from another young man on the dancefloor, who had led him away from it to sit down outside and have a chat. Whilst I realise that this probably was intense in many ways for my new friend, I am positive that experiences such as that will help him to grow as a man and grow confidence in himself as a person.

On the way out, I helped to walk him to the bus stop and got on a bus with him. Our chat, whilst walking, was interesting. I started out by congratulating him for getting some attention, whereby he said it had nothing to do with him and that he doubted he'd have the confidence to do that himself ("it was the other guy!") We discussed what it was like getting into relationships, virginity/sex, how I was terrified when I started going out with guys, how you can feel many emotions at once, and the utmost importance of always keeping yourself safe when it comes to guys coming onto you.

It reminded me what it is like to be newly out and having a million questions, but being too afraid to ask for fear of looking stupid. It reinforced for me the terrible homophobia that is still endemic in our society, making it difficult for any guys to come out in the first place, and showed me the importance of support and guidance for all young people, regardless of sexuality.

So I'm proud I played a part in another young man's experience, learning with him at the same time as supporting him. I certainly went to bed last night with a smile on my face, safe in the knowledge that I'd played a (very very small) part in another person's exploration of life. What more could you want?

Steven